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You Wonder

• You are not a cheater, but you sure do have a good imagination!
• Who doesn't wonder sometimes?
• It's probably best to keep your wondering to yourself, entirely.

Of course it's exciting! And yes, the Other Guy is... well... intriguing. It's perfectly o.k. to say to yourself, "I wonder what it would be like to be with him..." You might feel a little something when you see him (excited? confused? queasy?) and that is all the more reason to not go out of your way to find him on any given occasion.
Wondering is not the same as cheating and-in almost every case-it's not "emotional cheating" either, it's just curiosity. You are human, and you recognize the best in the Other Guy. Keep it there though, enjoy imagining him and leave it at that.

You Flirt

• You enjoy the attention of the Other Guy, and flirting is fun after all!
• Flirting, when done well, can be entirely innocent and at the same time a huge ego boost.
• You probably wouldn't flirt with the Other Guy in front of your guy-and that's smart.

Flirting feels good! In fact, part of the reason the early stages of the "mating ritual" feel so good is that they are likely programmed into our DNA. So you flirt. Who doesn't? OK, you might not be crazy about seeing your boyfriend flirt the way you do. So keep it in check: flirting is not the same thing as cheating on your boyfriend, but you do want to keep things cool.
Remember that when you flirt, the Other Guy is receiving what you are putting out there. He's probably enjoying how the flirting feels, too. Who wouldn't? So a wink here, a glance there... these can be completely innocent. Just don't get too addicted to the attention, or you may step over some boundaries to get more.

You Desire

• You think about the Other Guy all the time-even when you are with your boyfriend!
• You find yourself stepping up your appearance and your confidence, especially when you know that you might run into the Other Guy.
• You fantasize, in full detail, about what it would be like to be with someone else-this particular "someone else" especially.

Ask yourself this: are you able to stop thinking of the Other Guy? When you are getting dressed in the morning, are you imagining he is there? As you fall asleep at night-next to your boyfriend-are you wondering what it would be like if the Other Guy were next to you?
You are in the spell of desire, a magic spell that has you captivated. You really must stop. If you are thinking, "I wonder what would happen if I cheated on my boyfriend," then you are darn close. Go for a run, take a lot of cold showers, learn a language, pick up a new sport... get some distance before desire turns to action.

You Tease

• Wearing your best clothes when you KNOW you'll see the Other Guy?
• Sending text messages that appear innocent enough, but could be taken in a sexual way?
• Do you use a lot of suggestive language or innuendo with the Other Guy?.

Why you little tease! You're a tease and you know it. And you love it. There is power is being "not available" but acting like you are totally available. You can, if you set your mind to it, wrap the Other Guy around your little finger. And if you're really good, you can convince yourself, "This isn't cheating, we're just having fun."

Want to know what's what? Look at your motives. If you love being seductive and mysterious and getting attention, teasing is a way to act on that. If you need the Other Guy's attention-if you crave it-you may be skating on thin ice. Take a day off. Take an entire day with no texts, no sexting, no contact with the Other Guy. Can you make it through the day? Otherwise, you may be perilously close to cheating on the one you love.

You Cheat

• Whether or not you have "done the deed," you're in cheating territory.
• If you are twisting your life and your schedule and your priorities around to be available for the Other Guy, and putting your boyfriend third (you first, Other Guy second, then your boyfriend in third place for your attention), you are living in Cheatersville.
• Is all your attention on the Other Guy? Are you over the top about him and constantly keeping tabs? You may be not only in cheating territory but also in stalking territory.

Now what? You are close to or about to or already cheating on your boyfriend. Do you want to be with the Other Guy? Then do the decent thing and leave your boyfriend. Does the Other Guy want to be with you... now that's an important question.
You need to sit down and figure out what (and whom) you want. Make a choice, and act on it. Think of all the energy you've put into sneaking around! Put half that much energy into thinking through what you value (like feeling that you are a decent person who's doing the right thing) and what you need.
Cheating isn't the end of the world, but it may be the end of the relationship you are in. Are you willing to leave? If so, why wait? Do you need to stay-emotionally, financially, or for some other reason? That's all the more reason to curtail the cheating. Finally, do you crave the excitement and secrecy of the cheating itself? You have got to ask yourself: is it the Other Guy who turns me on or the excitement of getting caught?
Take a break, if you can, from the Other Guy. Perhaps you might even want to take a break from your boyfriend. It doesn't have to be obvious, it could be as subtle as going home for the weekend or catching up with your pals one weekend night. The idea is to get a little bit of space so that you can figure out what you want and need, and then take the next steps toward what you know is the right outcome for all.